Starting a conversation with someone from another culture can be tricky. Some questions may seem like a harmless way to break the ice, but to a French person, they can come across as awkward or even rude. And don’t get me wrong – It’s not about French people being too sensitive, it’s more about you avoiding the most popular and strange cliches. C’est parti!
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1. "Why do French people protest all the time?"
“Pourquoi est-ce que les Français sont toujours en grève ?” (= “Why are French people on strike all the time?”)
→ This question dives straight into current politics and stereotypes, which is always risky (or tiresome.) On the other hand, some French people will love to talk about the long history of French protests!
La grève = striking
Une manifestation = une manif = a protest
Les Gilets Jaunes, the Yellow Vest movement from 2019
La SNCF (= “Société nationale des chemins de fer français”) = national public French train company, with a reputation of going on strike
Les congés payés = paid holidays
Mai 68 = the massive protests of May 1968, a cultural moment in French psyche. Some slogans:
Sous les pavés, la plage = “under the pavement, the beach”
Il est interdit d’interdire = “forbidding is forbidden”
Something else you could ask instead:
“Qu’est-ce qui pousse les Français à manifester ?”
“What motivates French people to protest?”
2. "Why are French people so rude?"
“Pourquoi les Français sont-ils si désagréables ?” (= “Why are French people so rude?”)
→ This question forces the French person to awkwardly defend an entire nation. But it’s kind of true, in a way. You’ll find that people in France tend to be colder than, for example, American people, when you first meet them. Waitstaff will sound less friendly. We have different expectations for politeness: silence is more polite than trying to start a conversation. But it’ll depend on the specific people you meet!
Also Parisian people have a reputation for being colder than the rest of French people.
Rude = harsh (like a winter)
Désagréable, agressif, impoli = rude (impolite)
La politesse, les bonnes manières = politeness, manners
Something else you could ask instead:
“Quelles sont les règles de politesse les plus importantes en France ?”
“What are the most important rules of politeness in France?”
3. "Do you hate Americans?"
“Est-ce que vous détestez les Américains ?” (= “Do you hate Americans?”)
→ I know you won’t ask this question… but your friend might! French people don’t hate Americans. They might complain about materialistic shallow American culture, foreign policy, false friendliness or junk food, but deep down we love the US. There’s even a big French attraction for the trapping of the Far-West, like rodeo or line-dancing, in the French countryside.
la malbouffe = junk food
Johnny Halliday, born Jean-Philippe Smet = very famous singer, embodying American aesthetics for the French working class for 60 years.
une cuisine américaine = an open-plan kitchen
La classe américaine = slick style (also an interesting movie)
Something else you could ask instead:
“Comment est-ce que la France est influencée par la culture américaine, selon vous ?”
“How is France influenced by American culture, according to you?”
4. “Do you know Martin from Nantes ?”
“Tu connais mon pote Martin ? Il habite à Nantes.” (= “Do you know my friend Martin? He lives in Nantes.”)
→ Yes, it’s a joke; there are 67 million people in France, you know that we can’t all know each other, right? (On the other hand, if I actually know Martin from Nantes, it would be incredible – so actually, go for it and ask! It’s just that France has many places.)
la campagne = the countryside
la banlieue = the suburbs (around a city) (somewhat derogatory)
la province = the Parisian word to say “everywhere in France outside Paris” (somewhat derogatory)
la Provence = that area in Southern France with sunshine and lavender.
Something else you could ask instead:
“Tu vis où en France ? C’est comment, chez toi ?”
“Where do you live in France? How is it, where you live?”
5. Do you really eat snails and frog legs?
“Vous mangez vraiment des escargots et des cuisses de grenouilles ?” (= “Do you really eat snails and frog legs?“)
→ Don’t disrespect French food! But also, yeah, these dishes are pretty weird.
Frog legs are pretty unusual, we never eat them except very special occasions, for especially “Cocorico” moment. Les escargots are more common (but still not for everyday, or every year.) They’re chewy and weird but the art of French cooking (garlic butter mainly) makes them delicious.
Beurk ! = “Yuck, yikes, ew” (disgust)
Végétarien = vegetarian
Végétalien (don’t use it, outdated word, simply say “vegan”) = vegan
Cocorico = “cock-a-doodle-doo,” the French onomatopoeia for a rooster’s crow (French national animal). It’’s also used metaphorically to express French national pride – often with a bit of irony or self-awareness.
Something else you could ask instead:
“Quel est votre plat préféré dans la cuisine française ?“
“What’s your favorite dish in French cuisine?“
6. “How do you stay so slim with all those croissants?”
“Comment tu fais pour rester mince, avec tous ces croissants au beurre ?” = “How do you stay slim with all those croissants with butter ?”
→ Thank you. But don’t insult the croissant! In French culture, the amount of fat or protein or carbs or whatever isn’t what makes food healthy; instead, it’s more about eating local products, made with care and tradition, and sharing your meals with people you like.
rester mince = staying thin
la grossophobie= fat shaming, fatphobia
le terroir = the alliance of a land and the traditional craft that was developed there
Labels of quality:
AOP (Appellation d’Origine Protégée)
AOC (Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée)
Book: Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman
La diversification alimentaire = a structured approach to introducing solid foods for French kids
Something else you could ask instead:
“Quel est le plat que tu préfères cuisiner ?”
“What’s the dish you most like to cook?”
7. “Can I take this in a doggybag ?”
“Vous pouvez me faire un doggybag ?” = “Can I take it in a doggybag ?”
→ This used to be unthinkable recently ; we’re supposed to finish our plate, that’s just good manners. But now, restaurants slowly become open to the possibility. Still, they might think it’s about feeding your dog.
Better ways to ask for this:
“Je voudrais un sac pour emporter les restes.” = I’d like a bag to take the leftovers home.
“Vous pouvez m’emballer ce qu’il reste, pour pouvoir le ramener à la maison ?” = Can you pack the leftover so I can bring it home?
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Merci d’avoir participé à cette leçon !
Thanks for taking part in this lesson!
Et toi, as-tu une anecdote sur une question gênante ? Que tu as posée, ou qu’on t’a posée… Raconte-la dans les commentaires (en français si tu l’oses.)
And you, do you have a story about an awkward question? One that you asked, or one you were asked… Share it in the comments (in French if you dare).
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À bientôt!
Canadians are often also asked if they know “Susie from Burlington”, and we’re only a country of 34 million people, and it’s still annoying! I can appreciate why the French don’t like that question either. Thanks for the great tips!
I always learn something new from your postings! “Un moment Cocorico”- c’est une phrase idiomatique parfaite!
I was told to never talk with French people about politics, but both times we were in France they wanted to talk about Trump and gun rights. I would answer their questions , but they loved to argue about politics.
Merci beaucoup
It’s very common in restaurants to be offered a box for uneaten pizzas now.