Salut!
In some countries and cultures, like the United States for example, it’s very common to hug someone that you already know when greeting them or saying goodbye.
Well, that’s not the case in France!
Let’s talk about hugging, greetings, and even la bise – with a lesson in French! And afterwards we’ll go over some of its vocabulary.
C’est parti !
1) French people don’t hug: text in French (with translation)
Les Français ne se font pas souvent des “hugs.” Il n’y a même pas de mot pour ce geste !
French people don’t often hug. There isn’t even a word for this gesture!
On peut dire “faire un câlin,” mais c’est plus intime, plus tendre.
We might use “faire un câlin,” but it’s more intimate, more tender.
Le plus simple, c’est “se prendre dans les bras” – mais là encore, c’est assez intime.
The easiest translation is “se prendre dans les bras” – but once again, it’s somewhat intimate. (See below for the vocabulary review in the second section!)
** Le truc en plus **
Edith Piaf – La Vie en Rose
An excerpt from the chorus
Quand il me prend dans ses bras
When he hugs me (takes me in his arms)
Il me parle tout bas
He speaks to me softly
Je vois la vie en rose
I see life in pink
Il me dit des mots d’amours
He tells me words of love
Des mots de tous les jours
Everyday words
Et ça me fait quelque chose…
And it does something to me / it touches me
***
En fait, la culture française est moins tactile que d’autres, en général.
In fact, French culture is less tactile than others, in general.
Prendre dans les bras, c’est surtout réservé à la famille ou à une amitié forte. Si vous prenez une amie française dans vos bras, elle risque de trouver ça étrange, et de se figer.
Hugging is mostly reserved for family or a strong friendship. If you hug a French friend, she might find it strange and freeze.
C’est comme l’amitié : les Français prennent plus de temps pour s’ouvrir, que ce soit pour parler de leur vie ou pour se prendre dans les bras.
It’s like friendship: French people take more time to open up, be it talking about their life or hugging.
Évidemment, je parle en généralités – on peut trouver des Français qui se prennent dans les bras pour se dire bonjour. Mais culturellement, c’est plutôt inhabituel.
Of course, I speak in generalities – you can find French people who hug when greeting each other. But culturally, it’s quite unusual.
En revanche, en France, on se fait la bise.
However, in France, we do “la bise.”
La bise, ce n’est pas simplement s’embrasser ! Ce n’est pas “un baiser” (romantique) ou “un bisou,” une marque d’affection surtout pour les enfants.
“La bise” is not simply kissing each other. It’s not a romantic kiss, or a simple sign of affection for, for example, children.
En fait, c’est coller sa joue sur la joue de l’autre, et mimer un baiser dans l’air. Et faire pareil de l’autre côté. Oui, ça semble étrange ! Mais c’est comme ça qu’on se dit bonjour en France.
Actually, it’s placing your cheek next to the other person’s, and mime a kiss in the air. And the same thing on the other side. Yes, it seems weird! But that’s how you greet someone in France.
***Le truc en plus ***
To be extra confusing, French people don’t all do the same number of “bises” ! The most common is two “bises” (one on the right, one on the left), but some people do four, three (in Southern France) – or even one (in Brittany) “bise” only.
And the starting side can vary as well: the most common practice is to start on the right side, but in Provence and Southern France, people often start the “bise” from the left side.
***
On ne fait pas la bise à n’importe qui ! C’est seulement pour des gens de même “niveau.” On ne fait pas la bise à son supérieur au travail, par exemple. Mais seulement en famille et entre amis.
We don’t do “la bise” with any random person! It’s only for “equals.” You don’t do “la bise” to your superior at work, for instance. But only with friends and family.
Deux hommes qui se disent bonjour peuvent se faire la bise s’ils sont amis, ou bien choisir la poignée de main, surtout dans un milieu professionnel.
Two men greeting each other can do “la bise” if they’re friends, or choose to go for a handshake instead, especially in a business setting.
En revanche, les femmes ne peuvent pas vraiment serrer la main. C’est vu comme trop formel, comme un signe de distance. Elles sont donc souvent obligées de faire la bise à leurs collègues. Et c’est dommage !
However, women can’t really shake hands. It’s seen as too formal, like a sign of distancing. So they often have to do “la bise” to their colleagues. And that’s too bad!
Maintenant, avec la Covid, les gens ont perdu l’habitude de toujours faire la bise. C’est l’occasion d’un nouveau départ.
Now, with Covid, people have broken the habit of always doing “la bise.” It’s an opportunity for a fresh start.
Enfin, si tu n’es pas sûre, fais simple : tu n’as qu’à lever la main, l’agiter un peu et dire “Bonjour !”
Finally, if you’re not sure, use the simplest answer: you only have to raise your hand, wave a little, and say “Bonjour !”
Click here to watch a full (short) comedy sketch by British comedian Paul Taylor: LA BISE by PAUL TAYLOR (subtitled)
2) French people don’t hug: Vocabulary
Let’s review some of today’s vocabulary! And in this blog post, I’m even adding some more vocabulary. You can also go over the text yourself and pick some sentences you find interesting.
- Faire un câlin = to hug, in a tender way.
- Un câlin = a hug, a cuddle
- Prendre dans ses bras = to hug (“to take into your arms.”)
- Étreindre / Enlacer = “to take into your arms” in a romantic way (more formal vocabulary)
Of course, some French people do hug. But they’re considered more tactile than the norm. Other French people do not like hugging at all. And it all depends on the context.
Se figer = to freeze, to stop moving out of sideration
Instead of hugging, a common greeting is: la bise (= a “greetings” kiss)
On se fait la bise ? = Can we / Do we greet each other with “la bise” ?
- S’embrasser = to kiss
- Un bisou = a kiss (informal, childish word)
- Un baiser = a romantic kiss (more formal, poetic word)
- Baiser = To have sex! (vulgar as a verb)
- Une poignée de main = a handshake (literally “a fistful of hand”)
- Se serrer la main = to shake hands (literally “to squeeze hands.”)
- Je préfère te serrer la main. = I’d rather shake hands.
** Le truc en plus **
“Embrasser” most commonly means “to kiss (romantically)” – but in more formal context, it can sometimes mean “doing la bise” or “hugging,” too.
In the text, notice also the useful sentence: C’est dommage. = That’s too bad, it’s a pity.
**
Congratulations! I hope you learned something new about French greetings and French culture.
À tout de suite.
I’ll see you in the next video!
Click here to learn more about French culture and misconceptions:
- French Vocabulary: Fake French Words to Know
- 5 Mistakes Most English-Speakers Make with their French Accent
- French Phrases: 5 French Slang Words Anyone Can Use Without Sounding Awkward
- French Culture Lesson – La Bise
À tout de suite.
I’ll see you in the next video!
→ If you enjoyed this lesson (and/or learned something new) – why not share this lesson with a francophile friend? You can talk about it afterwards! You’ll learn much more if you have social support from your friends 🙂
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I really enjoy the lessons when they are all in French like this one.
Bonjour Geraldine, Je suis un americain qui passe beaucoup de temps en Lot et Garonne. Un jour, j’ai suivi quatre femmes dans le magasin E.Leclerc a Tonneins, juste au moment ou quatre femmes en sortaient. Malheureusement pour moi, ces femmes etaient toutes des amies proches. Toute la circulation des pietons entrant et sortant du magasin a ete interrompue tandis que les 8 femmes ont toutes echange des baisers (deux sur chaque joue) ainsi que les “ca va’s” obligatoires. Mignon.
Salut Géraldine!!
The title of this just isn’t true!
On first meeting, yes it is true, same in Germany, hugging is not a normal greeting French people don’t like being bear hugged as if in the USA.
But to say French people never hug is just not true or perhaps a thing in Grenoble!
The people I know who are close friends often hug, while doing the kisses! Three kisses where I was, only two in Bourgogne ..
My French friends also like cuddles from their pets and it seems from me…
Bises et un gros câlin 🤗
Brian
Merci Géraldine, ç’était très informatif. La première rencontre est si importante. Est-il possible que tu prononce également le texte plus rapide à la fin de ton vlog? Bonne journée!